Hello World,
I'm a bit disappointed with myself this week. I never realized how difficult it is to figure out new ways to deal with stress other than to eat and snack. I took on a lot more than I should have with all of the various activities I am participating in. I feel like by Tuesday I'm already running on empty. That's exactly what happened to me this week. I was so tired on my first work out day of the week, I went and had coffee with my mother in law instead of working out. I went to Publix and then went home. Wednesday I went to class and I started working out on Thursday. Yesterday I worked out, too. I weighed in this morning and I managed to take off the weight I had gained back which was almost two pounds. I weighed in this morning and I was 147.4. Almost at 146, but not quite. I am disappointed because had I not reverted back to old habits Sunday- Wednesday, I may be at 146. Who knows?
Any advice on natural foods or vitamins that boost energy or "feel good" emotions? Mom recommends camomile tea, but I'm not a tea person...maybe I should become one though. It seems that's what GNC recommends for stress and taking in nutrients. I try and take me time, but it's a lot harder to do than just saying it. I did take me time this morning because Josh is working overtime and I'm going to work out when he gets home so he can have his alone time as well.
Although I am disappointed that I started to fall back into old habits, I am pround that I didn't totally ruin the progress I made so far. In about four weeks, I have lost almost 6 pounds, but in my sports psyche, almost doesn't matter. The scale still says 147 no matter what the hundreths number is behind it. Tomorrow starts a new week and I promise to myself and to you that I will be 145, even if the scale says 145.9. I'm going to get there...I can't give up on myself.
94 days left!
19 point something pounds left!
(Sounds a whole lot better than 20) :>
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Is there such thing as "food withdrawal"
Hello World,
Today is day 5. Almost one week! Sorry I haven't been writing in the past few days. I've been so busy and just plain tired. This past week has been final exam week and it's been stressful because as you know there's a tremendous amount of pressure on teachers these days to produce data that shows the students as being proficient. I haven't bent much though through the stress as far as cheating. My students were playing Jeopardy and the winners and the runner-ups got extra credit points added back to their final exam grade and candy. Jeopardy started last Friday and went until yesterday. In this short amount of time, I ate maybe 2-3 peices of bite size candy such as Snickers or Twix. I was so proud of myself because in times of stress I could go through much more than that.
I feel scared at the moment because I have to break a routine. Usually when I'm exhausted or tired, I go right for the comfort foods: Chinese, pasta, pizza... I suppose all of the carbs. Now, I am becoming very conscious of NOT going after these things, but at the same time I feel extremely fatigued. I feel like I'm going through withdrawals from the normal foods that I eat! I have such urges sometimes that I have to distract myself by doing something else or think of something gross so it averts my want for the food.
I never realized how much I was eating until I really started paying attention and actually saying no. I am very nervous, however, because this weekend Josh and I are going to South Florida to visit with Jay and Demetrio. I'm so scared I'm going to eat so badly and drink. I already promised myself that I wasn't going to drink through this process, but I'm going to be with all of these boys. What happens if I revert back to these old ways and I ruin everything I have worked so hard for!? I know I shouldn't worry about it and when the time comes I will make the right decision, but what scares me is in the past, I didn't make those good decisions. I don't want to make those mistakes again. All the support is welcomed :)
Today is day 5. Almost one week! Sorry I haven't been writing in the past few days. I've been so busy and just plain tired. This past week has been final exam week and it's been stressful because as you know there's a tremendous amount of pressure on teachers these days to produce data that shows the students as being proficient. I haven't bent much though through the stress as far as cheating. My students were playing Jeopardy and the winners and the runner-ups got extra credit points added back to their final exam grade and candy. Jeopardy started last Friday and went until yesterday. In this short amount of time, I ate maybe 2-3 peices of bite size candy such as Snickers or Twix. I was so proud of myself because in times of stress I could go through much more than that.
I feel scared at the moment because I have to break a routine. Usually when I'm exhausted or tired, I go right for the comfort foods: Chinese, pasta, pizza... I suppose all of the carbs. Now, I am becoming very conscious of NOT going after these things, but at the same time I feel extremely fatigued. I feel like I'm going through withdrawals from the normal foods that I eat! I have such urges sometimes that I have to distract myself by doing something else or think of something gross so it averts my want for the food.
I never realized how much I was eating until I really started paying attention and actually saying no. I am very nervous, however, because this weekend Josh and I are going to South Florida to visit with Jay and Demetrio. I'm so scared I'm going to eat so badly and drink. I already promised myself that I wasn't going to drink through this process, but I'm going to be with all of these boys. What happens if I revert back to these old ways and I ruin everything I have worked so hard for!? I know I shouldn't worry about it and when the time comes I will make the right decision, but what scares me is in the past, I didn't make those good decisions. I don't want to make those mistakes again. All the support is welcomed :)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Off to a good start
Hello World,
Today marks day 2 of this 150 day journey to weight loss and a better self. After reading all of the messages you all have been sending and the incredible advice that is being offered, I feel like I have a "support group", if you will, to help me through these long days. I am quite surprised actually at how many private responses I got that shared your individual stories and offered them as pieces of motivation. I thank you guys very much and I am flattered that you are joining/ watching me make this commitment to myself and you are there every step of the way.
Today I woke up and I looked in the mirror. For the first time, I smiled upon the thought of ,"Wow...I am actually going to do this!" I let Josh sleep in a little and I made my way to the gym. Before I left I ate a bowl of cereal (3/4 cup of Golden Grahams and 1/2 cup of skim milk = 4 points). I did 45 minutes of Cardio because my legs were very tired from yesterday and 45 minutes of weight lifting. When I left the gym, I felt tired, but good. I got home and resisted the urge to jump on the scale...my next weigh in will be a week from yesterday, so next Saturday. For lunch Josh and I both had turkey sandwiches. I ate an orange and he ate a salad with his. (2 slices of Pepperidge Farm Light wheat bread, Publix turkey breast, reduced fat provolone cheese, and an orange= 5 points). To satisfy my chocolate craving, I broke off half of a 2 inch x 2 inch brownie, so I guess I had a 2 inch x 1 inch piece. For one brownie it is 4 points, but I only ate half so I am tracking 2 points.
I must say it felt really good to be satisfied by so little chocolate. I will be very honest, I have a tendancy to binge on it. :( One fun sized piece of candy can easily turn into 6 or 7 in an hour. It's crazy!
For dinner I am making a reduced fat (lean ground beef- 98% fat free) hamburger patty...still deciding if I want to put 2% cheddar cheese on it, but absolutely no bun and baked asparagus. I usually drizzle a little bit of Extra Virgin olive oil and one tsp. of parmesan cheese, but if I want cheddar on my burger than I can't have parm on my asparagus. That's just a rule I made for myself...too much cheese in one day. :P
Today has been an overall good day. I don't feel frustrated or down on myself, only tired from working out two days back to back. I did this because I have class tomorrow night so I won't be working out until Tuesday.
148 days left!
Today marks day 2 of this 150 day journey to weight loss and a better self. After reading all of the messages you all have been sending and the incredible advice that is being offered, I feel like I have a "support group", if you will, to help me through these long days. I am quite surprised actually at how many private responses I got that shared your individual stories and offered them as pieces of motivation. I thank you guys very much and I am flattered that you are joining/ watching me make this commitment to myself and you are there every step of the way.
Today I woke up and I looked in the mirror. For the first time, I smiled upon the thought of ,"Wow...I am actually going to do this!" I let Josh sleep in a little and I made my way to the gym. Before I left I ate a bowl of cereal (3/4 cup of Golden Grahams and 1/2 cup of skim milk = 4 points). I did 45 minutes of Cardio because my legs were very tired from yesterday and 45 minutes of weight lifting. When I left the gym, I felt tired, but good. I got home and resisted the urge to jump on the scale...my next weigh in will be a week from yesterday, so next Saturday. For lunch Josh and I both had turkey sandwiches. I ate an orange and he ate a salad with his. (2 slices of Pepperidge Farm Light wheat bread, Publix turkey breast, reduced fat provolone cheese, and an orange= 5 points). To satisfy my chocolate craving, I broke off half of a 2 inch x 2 inch brownie, so I guess I had a 2 inch x 1 inch piece. For one brownie it is 4 points, but I only ate half so I am tracking 2 points.
I must say it felt really good to be satisfied by so little chocolate. I will be very honest, I have a tendancy to binge on it. :( One fun sized piece of candy can easily turn into 6 or 7 in an hour. It's crazy!
For dinner I am making a reduced fat (lean ground beef- 98% fat free) hamburger patty...still deciding if I want to put 2% cheddar cheese on it, but absolutely no bun and baked asparagus. I usually drizzle a little bit of Extra Virgin olive oil and one tsp. of parmesan cheese, but if I want cheddar on my burger than I can't have parm on my asparagus. That's just a rule I made for myself...too much cheese in one day. :P
Today has been an overall good day. I don't feel frustrated or down on myself, only tired from working out two days back to back. I did this because I have class tomorrow night so I won't be working out until Tuesday.
148 days left!
Saturday, January 8, 2011
149 days to go!
Hello World,
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Your reflection is the most obvious answer, however, when I look in the mirror, I see all of my flaws. I wish that my eyes were blue instead of dark brown. I wish that my gymnast body would turn into a dainty lady's body. I wish my face was more beautiful. Above all, I wish that I weighed 25 pounds less like I did 3 years ago.
3 years ago, my grandmother died and I went through a lot emotionally. I weighed in at about 130 pounds then. Since then, I have graduated from college with my Bachelor's, I have secured a job with the county being a high school English teacher, I got married, and now I am in graduate school. Since my wedding in February 2010, I have gained 22 pounds. I, embarassingly must say, weigh 152 pounds. I can no longer fit into my size 4 skirts without my stomach hanging out. I can no longer look and feel beautiful in my high waisted, pencil skirts anymore. I feel more comfortable in a sweatshirt with jeans than I do with a top and jeans; probably because I feel so self-conscious in jeans. I don't necessarily have a gut, but I think I have a little belly now.
This blog is going to help me change. I have tried to diet and exercise to lose weight for 9 months now with no success. Last February, I weighed 133 pounds because I has a wedding gown to fit into. In the last 9 months, I have gained this weight and I am giving myself 5 months to take it all back off. I have tried Weight Watchers, and just counting calories, but I will sabotage everything simply because I feel so terrible about myself. No, I am not depressed by any means, but my self-esteem needs a lot of work. I want to be able to look in my mirror 5 months from now and see what I used to see and feel what I used to feel.
I feel if I blog about it, then I am responsible for owning what I am doing. If I sneak a piece of chocolate, I must be honest here and admit that. I am also hoping for guidance, advice, inspiration, anything at this point on my journey. I cannot lie to the public and at the end of all of this I am hoping that I can look back at all of my posts and appreciate the hard work that I put in to make myself better. I am going to stay committed to myself because I am tired of feeling this way. When someone tells me I look beautiful, I want to believe it in my heart and actually agree with them. I am doing this on my own...without a bootcamp, without a trainer. I am empowering myself to be the writer of my own destiny.
Here's to day 1 of this journey.
Today for brunch I had the serving size for frosted mini wheats and I had a banana. I drink skim milk because of a lactose intolerance tendency, but I only put in about 1/3 of a cup in my cereal. This all equaled 5 points out of the 29 I am allotted for weight watchers.
I am about to go work out for 2 hours- 60 minutes for cardio and 60 minutes for weight training. I'll probably have a fat free light yogurt as a snack between this time and dinner which is 2 points.
For dinner I am goingto eat my leftovers from dinner last night at Mossfire Grill out in Five Points Square. It is half 3/4 of a chicken and spinach quesadilla. This is worth about 8 or 9 points because the cheese in it is not reduced fat.
I will probably be a little under my points for today, but I decided to sleep in and have brunch instead of breakfast and lunch as two separate meals.
I appreciate you following me on this journey and any advice or encouragement you can give, please don't hesitate!!!!!!
Only 149 days left :)
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Your reflection is the most obvious answer, however, when I look in the mirror, I see all of my flaws. I wish that my eyes were blue instead of dark brown. I wish that my gymnast body would turn into a dainty lady's body. I wish my face was more beautiful. Above all, I wish that I weighed 25 pounds less like I did 3 years ago.
3 years ago, my grandmother died and I went through a lot emotionally. I weighed in at about 130 pounds then. Since then, I have graduated from college with my Bachelor's, I have secured a job with the county being a high school English teacher, I got married, and now I am in graduate school. Since my wedding in February 2010, I have gained 22 pounds. I, embarassingly must say, weigh 152 pounds. I can no longer fit into my size 4 skirts without my stomach hanging out. I can no longer look and feel beautiful in my high waisted, pencil skirts anymore. I feel more comfortable in a sweatshirt with jeans than I do with a top and jeans; probably because I feel so self-conscious in jeans. I don't necessarily have a gut, but I think I have a little belly now.
This blog is going to help me change. I have tried to diet and exercise to lose weight for 9 months now with no success. Last February, I weighed 133 pounds because I has a wedding gown to fit into. In the last 9 months, I have gained this weight and I am giving myself 5 months to take it all back off. I have tried Weight Watchers, and just counting calories, but I will sabotage everything simply because I feel so terrible about myself. No, I am not depressed by any means, but my self-esteem needs a lot of work. I want to be able to look in my mirror 5 months from now and see what I used to see and feel what I used to feel.
I feel if I blog about it, then I am responsible for owning what I am doing. If I sneak a piece of chocolate, I must be honest here and admit that. I am also hoping for guidance, advice, inspiration, anything at this point on my journey. I cannot lie to the public and at the end of all of this I am hoping that I can look back at all of my posts and appreciate the hard work that I put in to make myself better. I am going to stay committed to myself because I am tired of feeling this way. When someone tells me I look beautiful, I want to believe it in my heart and actually agree with them. I am doing this on my own...without a bootcamp, without a trainer. I am empowering myself to be the writer of my own destiny.
Here's to day 1 of this journey.
Today for brunch I had the serving size for frosted mini wheats and I had a banana. I drink skim milk because of a lactose intolerance tendency, but I only put in about 1/3 of a cup in my cereal. This all equaled 5 points out of the 29 I am allotted for weight watchers.
I am about to go work out for 2 hours- 60 minutes for cardio and 60 minutes for weight training. I'll probably have a fat free light yogurt as a snack between this time and dinner which is 2 points.
For dinner I am goingto eat my leftovers from dinner last night at Mossfire Grill out in Five Points Square. It is half 3/4 of a chicken and spinach quesadilla. This is worth about 8 or 9 points because the cheese in it is not reduced fat.
I will probably be a little under my points for today, but I decided to sleep in and have brunch instead of breakfast and lunch as two separate meals.
I appreciate you following me on this journey and any advice or encouragement you can give, please don't hesitate!!!!!!
Only 149 days left :)
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