Monday, January 24, 2011

If I'm not a Quitter, Why do I want to quit now?

Hello World,

I'm really frustrated right now. I worked so hard for the past two weeks and weighed in yesterday morning at 148 pounds. I felt so proud of myself so I decided that Josh and I should go out on a "date night" and celebrate and just spend time together. I thought I did pretty good at the restaurant, BoneFish, too. For dinner we ordered an ahi sushimi "thing" and it was sliced very thinly. I had 4 or 5 smal pieces. I got a salad, but I only ate half of it, not even I guess and then our entrees came out. I ordered steamed asparagus instead of the usual Garlic Whipped potatoes and I ordered the small order of grouper. I only had two pieces of bread and they were the pieces at the end. I guess when I write it all out like that, it looks like a lot of food, but what made me angry was the decision I made after dinner. We went to this new yogurt place by the Fresh Market off of San Jose and Julington Creek. It's called Wild Yo's, kind of the same concept as Mochi's at Town Centre. I made my own cup and of course put mini m&m's and mini chocolate chips in it. So now looking back, I ate a lot more than what I am used to for dinner last night and now I regret everything I ate, even though it was delicious.

What is so frustrating about this whole journey is how long and hard you've got to work out to even lose a pound, but it is so easy to gain it right back with one bad mistake as a meal. I did a bad thing and 1.) weighed myself at night and 2.) weighed myself knowing what I ate last night. It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. I guess I was in the honeymoon stage, all excited about this journey and the "new" me. Now, I am irritated, tired- mentally and physically, and disappointed in myself. This is the time I would stop the diet and throw my hands in the air. I don't want to be that person anymore, I want to change. I just can't seem to stay motivated because of set backs like these. I know weighing myself tonight was stupid because obviously it's not going to reflect good numbers since I ate like crap last night.

Today I think I got back on track...? For breakfast I had a Special K protein shake= 5pts. For lunch I had peanut butter and jelly and a 100 calorie snack pack- chocolate covered pretzels. I used the light wheat Pepperidge Farm bread and for 2 slices it's 2 points. I used reduced fat Jif peanut butter and Welch's squeezable spread, which equaled 6 pts so the sandwhich in total equaled 8 pts. The Mr. Salty 100 calorie snack pack is 3 pts. My whole lunch was 11 pts, that's a lot. So by midday, my points were already at 16! For dinner I had the left over fish which was 4 points and 2 slices of Italian bread which was 4 points, so my dinner was 8 points, bringing the total up to 24 out of 29, but I also had a fat free light Publix yogurt during my grad class which is 3 points so I had a total of 27 points. Although, Weight Watchers gives me a lot points, 29 to be exact, I feel like I ate a lot of food between last night and today and I feel so fat!

I'm not looking or fishing for any of you to say anything, I just want someone to understand how hard this really is and how difficult it is to stay on track when you feel so icky! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I know that, but am I going to be able to reach it in my time frame, if at all?


134 days left!


  1. You really just have to keep at it. In the first 3 weeks of my diet, I lost a total of 10 pounds. I was losing about 3 pounds a week. Last week, I didn't lose any weight, and because I didn't lose any weight I let myself eat badly for one meal just because it was a "comfort food." The next day I woke up and thought about how much I want to lose the weight and how far I've come and knew I couldn't do that again and I had to keep my eye on the prize. You can do it :)

  2. I know it is hard, but you can do it! I want you to know that your blog was my inspiration! I am on my own journey now! In the past, the SlimFast plan worked for me, so I am trying it again. Serving size of honey nut cheerios and skim milk for breakfast, SlimFast creamy milk chocolate shake for lunch, fresh fruit (or veggies) for snacks (only allowed 2 snacks), and a reasonable dinner. In all, it equates to less than 500 calories before dinner. I tried WW while in my senior internship because all the teachers at the school were doing it, but I gave up on trying to count points and didn't want to pay the fee online.

    My dad is on a weight loss journey too. Only he is doing the HGC diet. He has lost 50 pounds and still has a ways to go. After Thanksgiving, he went home on Saturday and weighed himself. I had gained a couple of pounds, and he LOST 2!!! I was so upset because I didn't think I ate too much crap! It was so discouraging, and I know it was because of the HGC!

    Dieting is a mental challenge more than a physical challenge. You can't give up because I need you to inspire me to stay on track! Love ya girl!

  3. I understand where you are coming from! Last summer I did a Summer Weight Loss Challenge with a trainer from my gym. I ended up dropping out because one week I lost 3 pounds, then the next week I weighed in...I had gained 7 lbs!! I was furious because I had worked so hard that week....but the night before I weighed in, we went to Olive Garden and I had soup/salad thinking it was healthy...but all the sodium made me bloat like there was no tomorrow. I took most of it off by the next week, but I was so discouraged by seeing the weight gain I dropped out of the challenge. (& Jen A. can attest to this...she was there lol)

    Weighing yourself after a big (even if it is healthy) meal is such a bad idea. But don't worry...we've all done it. Just take this as a learning experience and keep going. You're hard work and determination is going to pay off! :)