Sunday, January 30, 2011

Ups and Downs

Hello World,

Yesterday was my weigh in day, but I didn't get a chance to weigh in online with you guys. I weighed in ath the lower tenths of 148. I've reached my 5 pound milestone, however, I feel disappointed with myself because it could have been more had I stuck to my diet completely.

I had two breakdown moments last week; not necessarily the way I used to, but still sabotaging my success. Instead of snacking and knoshing on multiple foods, I stuck with one. I reached my full state and closed the box and put it away. The bad thing was dinner was maybe 2 hours later. I feel stressed out right now and I'm usually home alone for awhile in the evening hours because Josh will either have class and get home after 9 or will work overtime at his work and be home after 11. To keep myself out of the house, I'll work out.

In some instances though, my students will come to my room after school and just hang out. I don't think I should kick them out because I want to work out or whatever. My job comes first, and although some teachers say their jobs are done when the contract says and that't that, I just can't kick them out. I'll finally get home, but only do a P90X video and do some cardio at our gym in the amenities center in the neighborhood. I'm exhausted by 5:00 and I don't feel like putting my whole heart in it anymore. Hence, my little, but hey it's some, weight loss.

I'm trying really hard. I feel like I'm one of those kids on "I used to be Fat" where you watch them battling old habits. The difference is, they have a trainer who doubles as a psychologist/counselor and I have no one. It was bold of me to say that I wanted to do this alone because I want to empower myself, but the mind games and urges and just pure stress from this is so much handle at times that I crumble and lash out.

Today starts a new week of weight loss. I'm going to take it one day at a time and see how it goes. I'm going to get something small to eat for breakfast now and I'll check back in soon.

127 days left and 20 pounds to go! :)

1 comment:

  1. You can't compare your journey to those on "I used to be Fat" because they are 1. a lot heavier than you, and 2. not as strong willed. That is why they need that trainer that will double as a counselor! They best counselor you have is your husband. I have learned that it is 1 thing to tell your husband what you are feeling, it is another to make him understand your stress. I don't know if he is or not, but you have to pretty much tell Josh what you need him to say in order to motivate you. When I started to lose weight before our wedding, I was at 155. I told Justin exactly what I wanted to hear from him, and I was 138 for our wedding! Guys need to be trained! lol! Again with the show, the only thing you should be taking from it is nutrition facts (the latest show's fact was 'don't eat anything that comes in a package' like chips, snacks, etc.) and the workout tips.

    I agree with you about the students. A lot of students don't get the positive attention they need at home, so they seek it from their teachers. It is very difficult to kick them out, but you have to make sure that you are still focusing on yourself while giving them your attention. I am very proud of your drive! Love ya girl!